Mary Schmidt Marketing Troubleshooter

The CEO of HP announced today that “…His priority [Mr. Hurd said] would be execution and accountability. The drive for further improvements in efficiency will not let up, he said, although he portrayed the cutting of 14,500 workers in July as a “one-time action.”

I’m sure that makes those 14,500 families feel much better - and really pumps the morale of the remaining HP employees. Look, I like HP - have worked with the company in the past and the printers are solid workhorses (my little combo color printer/fax/scanner should be named R2/D2. It just keeps rolling along, with a few beeps here and there.) And, I freely admit I don’t have Mr. Hurd’s credentials. What I do, have, however, is extensive first-hand knowledge of what happens internally when companies start cutting heads in the interest of “efficiency.”

In just about all of my Corporate America “real jobs” lay-offs were the norm, not the exception. One company in particular was notorious for its regular twice a year “reduction in force” (”Merry Xmas! You’re fired! The security guard will walk you out.”) I had a small measure of fame for having worked there for six years without being laid off, not even once. (The company also routinely hired back some of the December riffed in January.)

So, what happens even before the security guards start escorting people out? The employees spend almost all their time gathering rumors, sending out resumes, having hushed conversations with head hunters and and taking really long - hic! - lunches to say farewell to the latest victim (alcohol usually figures prominently.) Need I mention that what little work gets done may not be - ahem - efficient? Customer focus? Nope, sorry, we’re busy trying to figure out how to pay our mortgage.

I hope Mr. Hurd is working hard internally to communicate honestly with the employees and not just doing “CEO speak” re “one-time” and such. And, I’m sure he won’t be taking any bonuses this year, right?