Mary Schmidt Marketing Troubleshooter

Methinks the phone companies wouldn’t have to lobby to charge premiums for Internet access, if they simply understood basic customer service. They not only leave money on the table, they drive customers away from the table.

As regular readers know, I’m moving soon. So, I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to consolidate communications and reduce costs. Qwest is always advertising bundled services and special promotions. And, personally I don’t find Comcast that much faster than DSL. So, thought I’d give Qwest another chance to take my money, despite a bad experience in the past. Here’s what happened:

1. The 800 number in the newspaper ad doesn’t work.
2. You can’t both schedule a move and add a service on the web site.
3. When you call to move the basic landline service, the rep can’t offer the same deal that’s available on the web site. (”We have nothing to do with the web site.”)
4. If I want to order DSL on the web site (so I can get the $50 gift card and better pricing), I have to, according to the phone service rep, “wait until after you move.”
5. The “Live Chat” feature on the Qwest site gets stuck in an endless loop and locks down my entire machine.
6. As a business customer, I can’t get the same special promotions (including DirectTV) as residential, even though I work from my home. (This is a long-time Bell issue. They’ve always gouged businesses, charging more for the exact same twisted pair and service. Somehow that one line entry in the Yellow Pages is supposed to make it all okay.)
7. I can’t convert my business line to residential “until the new phone books are going to come out.” Since most folks look for me as “Mary Schmidt” not “Schmidt & Associates” and I’m just a google search away - I thought it made sense for me to switch to residential service.

But, while I can keep my number, I can’t place the order to do it now. I have to wait until three months before the new books go out. So, “Call back next month.” (Oh joy, another day spent in hold heaven.)

All this, and when you call them, wanting to give them money - you STILL have to wait in a queue, listening to that obnoxious “Your business is important to us.” Oh, and don’t forget that “transfer fee” - no consideration given to existing customers.

Net-net, I’m staying with Comcast for Internet access, and they’re not charging me any transfer fees and they’ll move an outlet for no charge. (Oh, I got through to a live person within about a minute.)

More: Under the heading, “Why can’t the phone company learn how to use the phone?” - check out the sad story over at Emergence Marketing, Hello Verizon, anybody there?

Tags: customer service, marketing, marketing troubleshooting