Martini Musing: The “If Only” Disease
It’s the end of another week (whew) and we’re fast approaching Friday martini time, at least in my time zone. So, I submit for your consideration (over cocktails) an excellent article from Bill McKibben, Why Having More No Longer Makes Us Happy. Here’s a snippet from Mr. McKibben’s article:
In fact, once basic needs are met, the “satisfaction” data scrambles in mindlnding ways. A sampling of Forbes magazine’s “richest Americans” have identical happiness scores with Pennsylvania Amish, and are only a whisker above Swedes taken as a whole, not to mention the Masai. The “life satisfaction” of pavement dwellers — homeless people — in Calcutta is among the lowest recorded, but it almost doubles when they move into a slum, at which point they are basically as satisfied with their lives as a sample of college students drawn from 47 nations. And so on.
Seems the wealthier we get (collectively) the more miserable we are. One example immediately comes to mind - all those stars and starlets who are constantly photographed while shopping, shopping, shopping. None of them look even remotely happy (much less healthy.) I suspect they suffer from the “If Only” disease, which is prevalent across all class and age groups.
“If only I had a nicer car…”
“If only I had a bigger house…”
“If only I had satellite television…”
“If only I had a Hermes bag…”
“If only I had another pair of Manolos…”
I’d BE HAPPY!
Well, no. After all, cars can only go so fast (or be so comfortable); you can only sit in one room at a time; satellite television just means you now have 458 channels of “nothing on”; the status of designer handbags is fleeting at best (there’s always a new one - and the new ones are also hideous) and the basic function is the same, regardless of the type or size; Manolos are (shhh!) really just very, very high-priced - ahem - hooker shoes…and so it goes. (If you like Manolos, that’s your call, fellow femmes. But, we all know that shoes - while sometimes great fun - can’t make us happy.)
I continue to maintain that - for most of us - happiness is a choice. Whenever I find myself starting to whine “If…” I do my best to stop and be grateful for what I have now. And, the things that make me truly happy have little to nothing to do with money. On that Pollyanna note, I’m off to enjoy a rainy day in the desert (rain is one of those happy-making things here in New Mexico).
Happy Friday!
If you enjoyed this post, please go drop a few bucks at Greater Albuquerque Habitat for Humanity.
Read More: All my Friday Martini Time posts.
Tags: happiness, Mary Schmidt
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March 23rd, 2007 at 9:08 pm
Now you’ve got me wondering what a pair of Manolos are!
A new thing to want?
There is such wisdom in knowing when to be content and when to allow your discontent to move you forward.
Thanks for bringing a bit of thoughtfulness to my Friday.
Keep creating…happy choices,
Mike
March 24th, 2007 at 8:53 am
Many thanks for a beautiful posting!
“Choice only exists when we know we have it and we know how to exercise it. Until we know we have options and can honestly see ourselves exercising them, choice does not exist for us.” ~ Happiness Habit
This is where many people find themselves, they want to exercise the choices you describe but don’t know how. There’s a Happiness Quiz on the Resources Section of our website that may be helpful to your readers.
Michele Moore - author of
How To Live A Happy Life -
101 Ways To Be Happier
www.HappinessHabit.com
www.HappinessBlog.com
March 25th, 2007 at 3:46 pm
Mary - Thanks for another thought-provoking post. It’s so easy to get caught up in consumption-a-rama, isn’t it? And then we get to feel guilty if we stop buying since shopping fuels the economy…and so it goes.
Personally, your reminder is very timely. In the past week, two very close friends of mine found out that each of their older sisters has a potentially life-threatening health problem. One is getting test results this coming week, and it could be very devastating news from the sounds of things. The other is undergoing surgery this week for bile duct cancer. (I’d never even heard of it.) It puts it all in perspective, doesn’t it? Their families and friends would sure be willing to trade a lot of “stuff” if it could guarantee good health news for Joanne and Mary Jeanne.
March 25th, 2007 at 11:17 pm
In response to your post “Why having more no longrer makes us happy” I want to post a part from my article which examines the impact of consumerism/ industrialization on our minds and environment. Please read.
The link between Mind and Social / Environmental-Issues.
The fast-paced, consumerist lifestyle of Industrial Society is causing exponential rise in psychological problems besides destroying the environment. All issues are interlinked. Our Minds cannot be peaceful when attention-spans are down to nanoseconds, microseconds and milliseconds. Our Minds cannot be peaceful if we destroy Nature.
Industrial Society Destroys Mind and Environment.
Subject : In a fast society slow emotions become extinct.
Subject : A thinking mind cannot feel.
Subject : Scientific/ Industrial/ Financial thinking destroys the planet.
Emotion is what we experience during gaps in our thinking.
If there are no gaps there is no emotion.
Today people are thinking all the time and are mistaking thought (words/ language) for emotion.
When society switches-over from physical work (agriculture) to mental work (scientific/ industrial/ financial/ fast visuals/ fast words ) the speed of thinking keeps on accelerating and the gaps between thinking go on decreasing.
There comes a time when there are almost no gaps.
People become incapable of experiencing/ tolerating gaps.
Emotion ends.
Man becomes machine.
A society that speeds up mentally experiences every mental slowing-down as Depression / Anxiety.
A ( travelling )society that speeds up physically experiences every physical slowing-down as Depression / Anxiety.
A society that entertains itself daily experiences every non-entertaining moment as Depression / Anxiety.
To read the complete article please follow either of these links :
PlanetSave
TheHolisticWheel
sushil_yadav
July 20th, 2007 at 10:09 am
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