Mary Schmidt Marketing Troubleshooter

I’m a long-time Am Ex customer. I’m even a happy Am Ex customer, with not one but two cards.

Then I get their “4th Quarter Gift Distribution Announcement” which tells me “value of distribution: $43.98.” (Wow! Almost a whole $44.00!)

“During the 4th quarter of each year, we distribute a Free Blue Appointment Book and Mini-Scheduler free for the first year as part of our extraordinary Blue Appointment Book Plan for Cardmembers.”

However, while there is no charge for these (”in limited supply” heh), in the first year, I have to pay a “small fee” to cover the cost of shipping them to my home. That’s $2.79 for the Appointment Book (with a “luxurious” cover. Gollee!) and $1.79 for the Mini-Scheduler (that has calendars for 2007 to 2009 and “much more.” Oh, boy!) Then they automatically sign me up for following years and will bill my account for $26.99 and $16.99 for each of this nifty planners. In the fine print they say, “Sorry, we cannot accept phone orders for this offer” even though when I go to the American Express Publishing site, they show the planners and a toll-free number. Oops.

Oh please. Instead of “free” “extraordinary” “luxurious” and “much more” - I’m thinking “cheap” “cheesy” “tacky” and “boring.” The marketing folks at Am Ex really need to get out more. Lots of people don’t use paper planners. And I can buy a leather planner at TJ Maxx for about five bucks these days. (I think I can live without the “wine and beer tips” in the Am Ex Appointment Book.)

Here’s a couple of ideas for Am Ex:

1. Credit my account - say - $45.00 at the end of year - or send me a gift certificate for even $5.00 as a real gift. That would be far more special than this goofball offer to send me a paper dead-tree planner…and charge me for shipping.

2. If you want me to sign up for a recurring program, come up with something really special. (Sorry, Am Ex - if I go any further with that thought I’ll have to charge you…but only for the “thinking and typing costs.”)

And then there are the problems with Am Ex’s site for custom publishing solutions …but that’s a post for another day.

Tags: marketing, marketing troubleshooting, American Express