Mary Schmidt Marketing Troubleshooter

a business “expert” or consultant say something like:

“Strategizing your initiatives.”
“Develop capacities by linking your core competencies to innovative strategies.”
“Analyzing your unique value proposition within the context of external environmental factors.”
“Maximize your net revenue cycle.” (tip of the blog bowler to John Whiteside for this one.)
“Five Easy & Quick Ways to Increase Your Sales by 40% (or 50% or whatever), Guaranteed!” (This pitch always reminds me of those ads for “flat abs in just minutes a day.” If only…)

Okay, I’m feeling rather contrary today, but I just had to re-read a godawful strategic plan that another consultant “did” for a client. It’s downright embarrassing that anyone would even think she and I have anything in common.

(Good rule of thumb: the more syllables, the more spreadsheets - the higher the fee.)