Mary Schmidt Marketing Troubleshooter

You know, I really am trying to be a better person - and not snark about the the Big Clueless Companies so much. Then I get a letter from Qwest offering me a “free account review.” Hmmmm…does the company normally charge their customers when trying to sell them more Qwest services?

Which brings me to the use and abuse of “free.” If you’re giving something away it should be:

A. Really free.

No “by cashing this check you are purchasing a membership in ID Secure” (I got that one yesterday. Grumble. Sure, one could say “Well, if people are that stupid”…but this sort of flim-flammery is flat-out predatory.)

No not-so-hidden lead gen tricks and sales pitches Account reviews…big-time consultant advice…all those “free” reports you can get on the Web.

B. Something of value to the recipient. Sorry, Qwest - I can review my own account, thank you. If you really want to get my attention, figure out how to bill me in less than - oh, gee I dunno - NINE pages…in plain English.

P.S. If you give a customer or client a special deal, something for free - make sure they know the value of what you gave them. Note the value of the product or service on the invoice, even though amount due is zero (or the greatly reduced price.)

P.P.S. That billling problem? All the old “Baby Bell” telcos have it - their legacy systems simply aren’t set up for today’s world - where people have more than one line, companies have more than one location and there are so many more services than good ol’ analog dial tone. However, the billing issue is an excellent example of everything you do is marketing. When a customer can’t figure out their invoice, they’re not going to be too interested in all those other inserts in the envelope.

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