Mary Schmidt Marketing Troubleshooter

Headline: IHOP will change name to DineEquity, Inc.

“The acquisition of Applebee’s required that we select a name for our company that reflects our company’s core competencies and recognizes our ownership of multiple brands, and DineEquity does just that,” IHOP CEO Julia Stewart said in the release. “Further, DineEquity’s tagline ‘Great Franchisees. Great Brands.’ prominently identifies two of the most important contributors to our success. With Applebee’s and IHOP, we have brought together two great brands, and we are beginning to demonstrate how we are more successful together than we could ever have been apart. Our name change to DineEquity reflects the promise of our newly combined company.”

Two things:

1. One can only wonder (and shudder) at the time and money that went into this momentous decision. (Changing out all the stationary and biz cards alone…yikes!)

Why not keep it IHOP? Who remembers that IBM used to to be International Business Machines?

2. The customers don’t care about “the promise of the newly combined company.” They care about the food on their plate and the service that got it there.

I’ll make you a deal - if you have a wild urge to change the name of your company, I’ll come with a minty, new name - all for a flat bargain rate of - oh, say, $25,000 - and I’ll wrap it in weighty corporate consultant speak. Such a deal!

Or, you could keep the old “brand” and spend the dollars on product development, customer service improvements, or employee benefits.

Related Posts:
Drive-by Marketing At Its Worst
Why Marketing May Never Get Any Respect

Tags: marketing, marketing troubleshooting, brands, branding strategy, IHOP

…”the top” or “best” or “biggest” or “the most admired”…do any of them really mean anything? Depends on how they’re compiled.

CNN Headline: Tech Firms Rule Top 100 Brands
(This list is based on financial performance and a consumer survey.)

It’s not surprising that Google is #1 - the word has become a noun, verb, adjective, adverb, (and likely expletive around #3 Mister Softy’s HQ.) Hmmm…didn’t that also happen to Xerox? Where are they are the list? (not there.)

People recognizing your “brand” doesn’t mean that:
1. They’re now or ever will be your customers. (#6, Marlboro)
2. They like what you stand for or do. (#26, Home Depot, down 33% in brand value)
3. They talk about you (good and bad.) When was the last time you had a rousing conversation about Siemens? (#71)

(Also - shocking, I know - but people often lie on surveys.)

Financial performance doesn’t mean that:
1. Your business is sustainable. (Headline: Bank of America Profit Drop 77%)
2. Your business is credible with the actual customers. (#34, Verizon Wireless)
3. Your products or services are good. (See points #1 and #2)
4. You know what you’re doing. (#56, Morgan Stanley - brand value up 6%)

Tags: marketing, marketing troubleshooting, brands, branding strategy

It’s impossible to stand out from the herd if everyone looks and baa-baa’s the same.

One of the biggest challenges I have with some clients is what they want to say about themselves. (”Oh NO! That’s too personal!” “We don’t want it to be ‘cute!’” “Won’t that offend someone?”)

Beats me. I’ve never been able to figure out how to make something memorable, compelling…and safe.

And, now, here’s Seth Godin with A Dumb Branding Strategy:

Jewelry Central is a really bad brand name. So are Party Land, Computer World, Modem Village, House of Socks and Toupee Town…It’s a bad brand name because Central or Land or World are meaningless. They add absolutely no value to your story, they mean nothing and they are interchangeable.

The second reason this is an exceedingly dangerous strategy is that if you start to succeed a little bit, you suddenly want to protect your lame name.

What he said.

Related Posts:
We Don’t Want To Get Too Personal.
Marketing Messages: Cute Phobia

Tags: marketing, marketing troubleshooting, brands, branding strategy

Hmmmpffff…who does he think he is? A best-selling author and big-brain smart guy? (Um, oh, wait a minute, he is.)

Okay, now that I’ve had my fun - my point is that there is a lot of good thinking out on the Web - and like minds tend to think alike (and write similar blog posts. Duh-oh!)

The great thing about our Wacky Web World and blogging is the sharing, enrichment, and expansion of perspective and ideas - from technology to marketing to (oh dear) politics. That’s why you see “competitors” such as Opinionated Marketers and my good pal, Mary Ellen Merrigan, on my blog roll. I learn from them and hope some day to work with them on cilent projects. (ME and I are, in fact, planning some world domination things.) Certainly, we don’t always agree - if we did, than we wouldn’t really be doing much real thinking, now, would we?

That’s why it gets so silly when bloggers are more concerned with their “brand” than the quality of their work. Certainly, none of us like it when a site skims our content. However, here in Albuquerque, a blogger got upset back in December because another site had his “trademarked” masthead (a photo of our city skyline, of which there are about a zillion) as well as the same “name” (a common abbreviation).

He wrote a long post being very protective of the”brand” that the blog team had “worked so hard” to create. (I happened across the blog in a Google search for something else this week). Then, I visit the blog and…one other blog links to it…and the last post was also way back in December 2007 (prehistoric terms in blogville.) So, I’m sorry, fella - your “brand” is an abandoned blog that was written for a short time by a peevish guy more concerned about his ego than his work. Doesn’t bode well for your future endeavors.

The Web World can be one of abundance. If you come into it with a scarcity mentality, you’re gonna be real unhappy.

What do you think? Leave a comment below - however, I moderate all comments, so it may take a bit to show up. Happy Friday!

(Need something else to read while killin’ time till ‘tooni time? Check out my post at Lip-sticking, Your Customer: Emily Hartley or Lucy Ricardo? )

Tags: Friday martini time, blogging, brands, branding, Seth Godin

Over 1 2 3 3.2 million people have watched this video so far:

Positive. Inclusive. Emotional. Motivating. All in three common one-syllable words.

Does your brand get people excited…or just make them tired?

Read More: Roxanne at Bare Feet Studios, Clinton & Obama, A Lesson in Losing Control of Your Brand.

Tags: Obama, Hillary Clinton, 2008 election, politics, brands

We’re having an interesting discussion over at Tom Peters re the Beatles and their “Intergallatic” brand. As I note in my comments, I never “got” the Beatles. My heart belonged to (young) Elvis…and I loved/love The Eagles. However, while Elvis is a deathless pop icon, The Eagles have never had the universal blazin’ blindin’ brand of the Beatles.

What is it about the Beatles? Or, are you more of an Eagles die-hard?

P.S. I’m in awe of Madonna. She’s a master marketer.

P.P.S. And wasn’t Ringo like the luckiest drummer on the planet ever? Reminds me of some of the “one hit wonder” VCs I run across. Right place, right time, whow-wee!

Tags: marketing, marketing troubleshooting, brands, branding, Beatles, The Eagles

Well, maybe one on every street corner is a wee bit excessive…

Starbucks Corp. said it will close down 100 stores and slow down its opening of new U.S. stores from 1,600 to 1,175 this year.

“By reducing the number of openings, we expect to optimize our resources and potentially reduce cannibalization of our existing stores,” said CEO and Chairman Howard Schultz in a statement.

So, is Starbucks going the Krispy Kreme route? Way too many outlets turning a cult brand into a commodity, ho-hum brand? What do you think? (Me, I’ve not been in a Starbucks for months…better coffee and vibes elsewhere.)

Read More: Starbucks Closing Stores (And, yep, more of their “managing to Wall Street” mentality.)

Related Post: But I Still Love Their Donuts. (Unfortunately, the Albuquerque Krispy Kreme franchise went - um - belly up. Sorry, it’s Friday.)

P.S. No I don’t know if they really have 1.5M locations - but it sure seems that way…as I drive or walk by them on the way to another coffee place.)

Tags: marketing, marketing troubleshooting, brands, branding, Starbucks, Krispy Kreme

Is it this? (From their web site, “Why Countrywide?”) “Since our founding in 1969, our mission has been to help individuals and families achieve and preserve the dream of homeownership. Today, this cornerstone principle continues to guide and drive all of our business decisions. It has also produced a high-performance, high-integrity culture that’s unique to Countrywide and draws many of the best and brightest in the industry to work here.”

Or, is it: “That ginormous mortgage company that’s in a world of hurt….and the CEO has been shamed into forfeiting over $30M in severance pay.”

The second statement sure won’t fit on a bumper sticker, but it’s what I think.…even as I’m dumping yet another snail mail promo from them in the trash.

The brand is what you do, what you say, how you treat your customers…and your employees. Paying a failed CEO $37M is ridiculous. Countrywide has cut about 11,000 employees from its payrolls since July. Gee, were those the “worst and dimmest?” Those folks are lucky if they got 30 days severance - and here’s hoping they can make their mortgage payments.

P.S. What you say to and about people should match what you do.

Tags: marketing, marketing troubleshooting, brands, branding, Countrywide

Ah, the “thrill” of developing the perfect tagline. People spend tons of effort, time (and often pay marketers tons of money) to come up with the perfect one. The one that says it all in a single line. The one that will make others just throw money at them. The one that will make them world famous forever and forever. Only to end up with something like, “Innovation Hub of the Americas” (state of Florida) or “Your potential. Our passion.” (Microsoft. As Maureen Rogers notes, if your/my/our potential were really their passion, they’d never have released PowerPoint.)

Now, I enjoy coming up with taglines, and they can really spice up your marketing, make ‘em look. But (shhh…here’s a marketing secret) - the best tagline in the world won’t really do much for your bottom line. Marketing words can never make up for mediocre products, bad service…and treating customers like money vending machines and employees like mindless cogs in those machines.

So, don’t pay a marketer to help you with taglines if:

1. Your customer service sucks. Spend it there. If you don’t know if it sucks - that’s a really good sign it probably does.
2. You keep losing good employees. Spend the money on them. (Costs far more to replace them, in real dollars and lost opportunities.)
3. You can’t seem to close a deal. Sales training anyone? Are the products even marketable? Are the prices reasonable? What’s your sales compensation plan?
4. You keep losing customers. (See #1 and #2.)

Read More: The always smart, always funny Maureen Rogers, Tagline, You’re It!
And, my oh-so-savvy fellow NM marketer, Mary Ellen Merrigan, Taglines: Brand Focus or Brand Distraction?

Related Posts:
Forget the Elevator Speech
Marketing Messages: “Well, Isn’t That Special!”
Marketing Messages: Barbarians At The Gate

Tags (heh): marketing, marketing troubleshooting, taglines

Photo Credit: CA, Flickr

Via Church of the Customer - The WSJ asked a rhetorical question: “Can a splashy ad campaign featuring the likes of domestic entrepreneur Martha Stewart, tycoon Donald Trump and singer-actress Jessica Simpson help revive Macy’s sagging fortunes?”

Macy’s is going to spend $100 Million so these people can tell us how much they love Macy’s. (What’s love got to do with it? Nothing second-hand about it…The store is going to carry a bunch of “great celebrity name brands” with the “names” being - ta-da! - guess who?)

Uh-huh. Like any of them would actually shop there. But even if they did…

[WARNING: Graphic unwanted mental image may occur if you read the following sentence!]

Unless The Donald is going to dress in a wedding gown and spank a naked Jessica with a spatula over in Housewares Live! In Person! twice a day - I can’t see how this is going to help increase store traffic, much less revenues.

As for those “great celebrity name brands” - why would anyone rush to buy furniture just because it’s being sold under Trump’s name?

Back in their heyday, department stores were marvelous, magical shopping experiences. For example, in my childhood, Neiman-Marcus was a thrill to visit, even (especially) when you couldn’t afford the merchandise - and eating in their tea room was just the best. But then all the big stores started looking the same, carrying the same products and throwing constant sales. Department stores stopped being fun and became a mindless exercise in mass consumption. And, if you’re simply looking to stuff your face, any all-you-can-eat buffet will do.

Related Posts from the Archives:
Do I Care Who’s Talking At Me?
Bridging The Gap Between Product and Customer
I’m stylin’ with my Ed McMahon ‘tini.

If you’d like to leave a comment, please do so. It may take a bit to show up since I hate making people type in little letters (I can’t read most of them myself) - so I moderate all comments. Feel free to disagree - debate is healthy. However, I’ve blacklisted the worst obscenities, including the “f” word, as part of the troll wall.

Tags: marketing, marketing troubleshooting, brand, branding, Macy’s, advertising

Photo Credit: cumulo-nimbus, Flickr - detail from mannequin cocktail party