Mary Schmidt Marketing Troubleshooter

A specification that will not fit on one page of 8.5×11 inch paper cannot be understood.
– Mark Ardis

However, it takes a lot of hard work and thinking to get to that one page (I say the same thing about market development strategy and “strategic plans.”) As Mark Twain once noted, it’s much harder to write short than long. Flaws in thinking (or plot lines) can be hidden in long missives. (Please, someone get Stephen King a real editor again. He’s become a victim of his own success. They publish every. single. word.)

It’s so much easier to produce a ton of paper for that software spec, marketing strategy or biz plan. All too often the goal seems to be, “It doesn’t have to be good. It has to be BIG!”

…and you can buy Mr. Ardis’s 320 page Diffusing Software Product and Process Innovations (IFIP Advances in Information and Communication Technology) for only $319.00 at Amazon. (Ardis is actually the editor, along with Barbara Marcolin). See above about the thinking.

Related Post:
Assume Your Readers Don’t Like To Read

NYT: E-Book Wars: The Specialist vs. the Multitasker “The Kindle from Amazon.com is designed to let us do one thing very well: read. To survive, it must excel at this, not only by jostling to stay a nose ahead of other e-readers, but also by maintaining an enormous lead over the Apple iPad and its coming competitors. The multipurpose iPad can do thousands of things very well; used for reading book-length texts, it doesn’t excel, but it’s passable.”

A friend was recently trying to decide between an iPad and a Kindle. She felt the iPad was beyond her budget. And, she’s right. If all she wants is an “e-reader” – why spend the bucks? But she was in a quandary, since the iPad is – well – the “hot” product.

She’s in good company – even high-techers who should know better get all confused. A lot of tech marketers are thrashing around, trying to find/define a target – tablets, laptops, PDAs, e-readers…whatever Apple offers we’ll offer! Me TWO! US TOO! (later, cheaper, not as good…okay, I’m prejudiced but neither Dell’s nor Microsoft’s history give me confidence they’ll bring out anything terrific.)

The iPad is a cool tool – for both fun and biz. It comes in handy for one-on-one sales presentations (and thanks to the inherent functionality, your stuff will look cooler on the iPad, especially if you use Keynote.) One VC observes it seems to be the board room choice du jour (if you don’t want to take lots of notes.) I like its extreme mobility – tuck into my portfolio, zip and go, no special case or lugging required. The keyboard is functional enough for short, don’t lose the thought meeting notes, which I can then email with a click of a button.

I can also use it to read books, including classics (free) from Austen and Poe. (I’ve also downloaded the Constitution and Bill of Rights – and re-read both documents, something I highly recommend to t-par-tees everywhere…;-) However, to read anything in copyright – I still have to buy the books. I’d rather use my local library, for free, with online reservations. The “e-reader” function is a “nice to have” for me, not the reasons I love the iPad.

So, here’s the thing – before companies started the whole “me TWO!” reaction to Apple, they should have looked at the actual customer a bit more closely. How are people actually using the iPad (or Kindle?) Some may have both. I’d also buy the Kindle if I still had an insane travel schedule – due to Kindle’s longer battery life and lighter weight. (When you’re schlepping luggage for [literally] miles of airport corridors, every ounce counts.)

In my not-so-humble opinion, comparing the iPad market share to that of Kindle is like comparing apples to oranges (Sorry, I couldn’t resist.)

“We were second and almost as good!” isn’t likely to win much (sustainable) biz. You don’t always have to be first, but you should be different (and different enough.)

Last but certainly not least – how long can a market be sustained for a “single use” product? (Word processors? Fax machines? Electronic calculators? Postage meters?) Discuss amongst yourselves.
Read More:
Microsoft’s Me TOO (Two) Strategy
Dell’s Exciting New Streak! (Yawn)
My guest post at Lip-sticking: I’m in Lust with My iPad.

That’s obviously different than “in the dark.” (And don’t we often feel like we spend way too much time working our way through the murk with vendors?)

The other hot, sunny day I walked past the Apple store. People were standing in line to get in (yes, Standing.In.Line – to spend money, in this godawful, woe is us, we’re all doomed economy.) What really rocked my world is there was also store staff standing by the line, holding great big umbrellas and doing their best to keep the customers in the shade. Wow!

Compare that to – oh, let’s say – The Radio Shack, Best Buy, or virtually any other retail operation. Apple understands retail sales is all about the total experience, not just the store full of products.

Nice positive moment, having just come from a restaurant where the clueless hostess bluntly informed us there would be a “20 to 25 minute” wait (take it or leave it, no skin off her young nose)…when we’re standing there looking at empty tables. Uh-huh.

P. S. I don’t think we’re all doomed, but we do need to change from an economy based on mindless mass consumerism.

As a homeowner who does a wee bit of DIY – I’m a fan of Holmes on Homes…when I can bear to watch. It’s an hour of a professional contractor fixing the godawful, so-called “work” of other contractors. Everything from plumbing pipes running on the outside of the wall to nails driven through substandard wiring.

And, frequently, the home owners have already paid the shoddy contractors huge amounts of money…and/or are facing a lien or lawsuit. After all, “We did the work!”

Well yes, indeedy. They did the work. And, yes, the homeowners have walls/heat/electric light/running water. Never mind that the walls are dangerously leaning, the heating fan is installed backwards, the electrical wiring is a fire waiting to happen, or the waste water keeps on running into a big pool around the foundation.

In addition to being grateful I’ve not had to deal with such nightmares, I find myself getting embarrassed for the contractors. It’s even more embarrassing that they don’t seem embarrassed…in fact, don’t apparently see anything wrong. Hey, we did the work! Pay us! (This embarrassment hang-up is also why I can no longer watch I Love Lucy, as fondly as I remember the show from growing up. Painful!…but I digress.)

Unfortunately, this slovenly “I did the work, man” mentality can be found in any industry or job. It’s why so many web site designers, programmers, attorneys, ad agencies (and yes, consultants) get a bad rap. They often deserve it.

So, if you plan to hire any kind of contractor (including a marketer), keep the following in mind:

1. T&M contracts. These shouldn’t be open-ended. Tie time (and deliverables’ quality) to payments.

A friend of mine is still trying to extricate herself from a carpenter’s greedy clutches at her vacation home…since he just keeps going…takes forever to actually finish anything…the place keeps getting messier…and she’s way too nice to flat out fire him. (She also has nothing in writing.)

2. Retainer contracts. This is how I typically work with clients, but I also lay out specifics of what I’ll do and key deliverables. For new clients, I put in a kill clause so they feel comfortable they can fire me at any time, with a bit of notice (never happened, but…)

3. Work product ownership. Any work done for you for pay is yours. Period. If the contract isn’t written that way, find another contractor.

4. (Really) check those references. Certainly, people aren’t going to give you the names of unhappy customers, but make the calls and ask the (right) questions, such as “What happened when there was a problem?” or “How did they notify you of issues?” or “How did they handle bug reports?” The mark of a true pro is what he or she does when there’s a screw up, not when things are running smoothly.

4.5. Google the contractor. Go deeper than the first page. I’ve found pending lawsuits for supposedly reputable consultants.

5. NDAs. Never assume that because the work product ownership is covered, your IP is protected. Get the NDA signed before you start sharing. (There are standard boilerplate forms readily available on the Web, if you need one quickly.)

6. When in doubt, have your (vetted, reputable) attorney review. For that matter, even when you’re not in doubt, even if it’s a “simple” contract – especially if you’ve never worked with the contractor before. Nasty bits can be buried in those there fores and whereas (including the contractor owning your stuff…such as web site domains and code.)

“What could possibly go wrong? They seem like such nice people!” are words that tempt the Gods. That’s why we have contracts. Contracts often won’t prevent problems (or prevent shoddy work) but they can help set parameters that’ll make the other party behave (or at least think twice before they start making threats.)

“Thrival” isn’t in the dictionary (yet)…and not to get all new-agey, life coachy on you…but…

I got another eletter with “business survival tips” today. Didn’t open it, didn’t care. It’ll say pretty much the same thing the other 492 did.

Certainly, we all want to “survive”; however, survival brings to mind other words such as “unemployed” “scrimping” “barely” and “struggling” Depressing all around.

So, what about tips for thriving? Thrival! If I had to name the ONE thing that makes entrepreneurs different than other folks – it’s attitude. Down times, up times, whatever…an entrepreneur keeps going, with high energy and smiles. They can hear “No” a thousand times and keep going for the one “Yes.”

They focus on thrival, not survival.

I “built” a potting/work table on my back patio, using left-over wood and a sturdy folding table. It certainly isn’t Pottery Barn catalog quality – but it works (and it costs me a whole lot less than PB.) The table actually looks rather cool – in a ReadyMade, re-purposing, funky sort of way.

It’s not perfect, but it works for me, the user. And I’m certainly happy with the price (next to free.)

So it goes in product development. Sometimes developers get so focused on the looks – they short-change the functionality. Need real-world examples? Think of all those web sites that look great…and don’t deliver what you need.

What is it with product names? First the iPad, now the Streak (Feel free to make your own mental adolescent jokes here).

Full disclosure: I have an iPad, and I love it – because it’s both fun AND functional. (Sales tip: It makes one-on-one presentations both more impressive and personal – and you don’t have to jump through the “user-friendly” hoops of PowerPoint.)

Dell is (once again) trying to go head-to-head with Apple. My prediction? The Streak will be bought by people who don’t want to spring for the iPad, and they may even be happy with it (If they can deal with the much smaller screen). But, will enough of them buy to make Dell’s CFO happy? I doubt it.

I’d also like to have been in the back rooms when Dell decided to release in the UK first. Hmmm….While they’re over there, Apple’s over here – getting all the early adopters and buzzy buzz. The Streak will supposedly be released in the U.S. “later this summer” Really? Bug-free and better than anything Apple offers? I’ll believe it when I see it.

Am I’m being unfair? Maybe. Am I biased? Certainly. However, think about it – when you hear the word “Dell” – is the first (or even third) word you immediately think of “innovation?” What about “fun?” (Even gray-haired “serious” CEOs like to have fun.) No? Well, I rest my case.

Need a little more convincing? Here goes.

From the Dell press release:
“The Dell Streak is a compact and powerful companion for people who want to expand their ability to access their digital lives on the go, and realize tomorrow’s technology today,” the company said. “The spacious 5-inch screen is ideal for experiencing thousands of Android Market widgets, games and applications, all without squinting or compromising portability. Built-in Wi-Fi, Bluetooth and available 3G connectivity brings easy access for downloading and listening to music, updating social networking status in real-time, and staying connected to friends and family through e-mail, text, IM, and voice calls.”

Ron Garriques, president of Dell’s Communication Solutions Group, said the Streak “hits the sweet spot between traditional smartphones and larger-screen tablets.”

Zzzzzz…what? what? Sorry I dozed off there. Yep, we customers get all excited about sweet spots…;-)

And why does “in-between” make me think of the old SNL skit: “It’s a dessert topping AND a floor wax!” (Dell’s Kevin Andrew says the Streak is “kind of the perfect in-between device.” ) Kind of??? That reminds me of those cheapo gimcrackery products you can buy on late-night television (combo toaster, egg poacher and bacon fryer anyone? What? You want three? Heh.)

Read More: The Dell Streak is Not a Tablet, Lance Ulanoff, PCMag. (He likes the name, btw. Guess he’s more mature than me.)

This is one way you can separate the grown-ups from the “kids.” (and kids come in all ages)…the pros from the amateurs.

Pros sometimes fail – we all do.  But, they don’t give you a lot of increasingly lame excuses.  (“My dog didn’t bite you.” “It’s not my dog.” “I don’t have a dog.”)   They give you reasons.  If they fracked up, they’re the first to tell you. Then they give you ideas  how they’ll fix the  problem, without being prompted.

A pro doesn’t wait for you to figure out there’s a problem.  He steps up and admits it. Then, he goes to work to fix it.

A pro doesn’t ask for long detailed lists of how to do a task or project (after all, why are you paying her if you have to do that much ’splaining?)  She has the experience to know what needs to be done to accomplish the goal.

Pros know excuses don’t do anybody any good…particularly when the client is paying for results.

The short, snarky answer: It’s called THINKING! (And following a process isn’t the same as producing results.)

This process query is a red flag question when I’m talking to potential clients. Certainly processes have their place and can be incredibly useful in ensuring consistency and timely project completion.

However, all too often “process” becomes the thing and nothing ever actually gets done. (Talk to some corporate refugees about Malcolm Baldrige one of these days…)

I sometimes use process methodology to help clients plan and focus – but it’s a tool, not a be-all, end-all. (Shhh…I typically don’t call it “process methodology” – we just work through things. I call it – um – “working through things.” We do weird off-the-wall activities like talking, writing tasks down and then doing them.)

If you work with me – or another experienced professional in any field – it should be a given that we have some sort of internal process to get things done. Otherwise, we would have all starved to death by now. Of course, we should tell you what we’re going to deliver and when (in plain English – no insider industry jargon) but giving you the nitty-gritty, micro detail step-by-step plan…uh no. Think of it this way – you can pay us to do the detail dolly stuff or the work you need to make money, reduce stress, grow your business, stay out of jail, etc. etc. (Actually, you won’t be paying us to do the detail work. We won’t take the gig.)

And so it goes within an organization too – do you want to accomplish that goal or plan it to death?

P.S. You also don’t need to wait for the high-dollar, complex software for planning or process control (otherwise you may never get started)…start writing things down and putting them in file folders. Then look at ‘em when you need to evaluate progress or handle an issue. (Cross-filing, a lost art, is also very effective.) No tech, but it works.

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Earlier this week we had the dry run for the TVC equity symposium – where entrepreneurs give their 10-minute presentation for critiquing. One comment comes up with depressing regularity – “I don’t understand the slide.” The presenter smiles and nods and we move on. I, meanwhile, am often thinking, “Well, you would have if you had been listening.” My (very) latent maternal instinct kicks in when “my guys” are criticized, but is this really a “girlie” problem? Well, not unless you consider the top U.S. military brass girlie men. (We Have Met the Enemy and He is PowerPoint.)

I pretty much loathe PowerPoint. Some members of the US Military even view it as ‘an internal threat.’ Marine Corps General James N. Mattis says, ‘PowerPoint makes us stupid.’ (The bowl of worms above is from a briefing about Afghanistan.)

While PP can be useful – as a tool - all too often it’s an all-purpose hammer to bludgeon the audience (and presenter) into dazed submission. A passionate entrepreneur who could sell water to a drowning man can be reduced to “uh.” The audience becomes passive readers (if they’ve not checked out completely) – and some people’s reading comprehension ain’t all that great to begin with…throw in a few terms they don’t recognize and you’ve lost them.

Also, when ALL you do is prepare slides, what are you NOT doing? I quit one big-timus corporate job in part because I was spending so much time preparing charts to convince the banks to give us yet another loan to get out of Chapter 11 yet again. And, yes, I was making sh** up. My job title wasn’t “Queen of PowerPoint” but it sure felt like it (and I was still on the hook to produce results in my real job.)

Last year when a military Web site, Company Command, asked an Army platoon leader in Iraq, Lt. Sam Nuxoll, how he spent most of his time, he responded, “Making PowerPoint slides.” When pressed, he said he was serious.

“I have to make a storyboard complete with digital pictures, diagrams and text summaries on just about anything that happens,” Lieutenant Nuxoll told the Web site. “Conduct a key leader engagement? Make a storyboard. Award a microgrant? Make a storyboard.”

Hmmm….maybe they should change the name to PowerLESSPoint…