Mary Schmidt Marketing Troubleshooter

Some people complain (and I’m one of them on occasion) about all the junk and noise on the Web…but we also have unprecedented access to not just information but learning. We’re only ignorant – about virtually any topic – if we choose to be. (One of my pet peeves with pundits and politicians.) Willful, arrogant ignorance is not a good thing – no matter how much you get paid for loudly and pointlessly pontificating (There’s gotta be a sentence thingy in there somewhere, by gosh!)…or promoting a book you didn’t actually write.

So, here are some of the bright spots on the Web – some serious, some not-so.

Seth Godin on chocolate should be fun. (packaging and branding)

Michele Miller on Burger King’s Marketing To Women (Well, at least this campaign is better than the S&M dominatrix one I saw in Germany a couple of years ago for the “angry whopper”…;-)

Bruce Fryer’s perspective on Health Care Reform: Rationing or Gluttony? (Brings to mind my Mom’s elderly friend who gets an MRI whenever she “feels like it.” ?! Need I mention she’s on Medicare?)

IP Law For Start-Ups (just what it says…found through Ask A VC.)

Grant McCracken on The John-Boy Problem (Marketers take note – you’re not necessarily the target market.)

Gail Collins, NYT Columnist, Florida We Have A Problem (We also have a whale museum funding problem, who knew?)

Ike Piggott’s taking the long view, doing a riff on P.J. O’Rourke’s classic piece, Whiffle Ball World. (I don’t always agree with Ike, but he thinks about things.)

When you live in a Whiffle World, you don’t worry about being eaten by hyenas, you worry about whether pets are spayed and neutered.

When you live in a Whiffle World, you don’t worry about your teeth rotting out, you worry about whether they are white enough.

When you live in a Whiffle World, you don’t worry about having access to safe drinking water, you fret over whether it’s the right flavor or brand.

The Unhappy Hipster. If you’ve ever wondered why those cool people in Dwell look so depressed…but warning: don’t be drinking coffee when reading or you may do a spit take.

Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project (For those of us who live in a Whiffle world, happiness shouldn’t be all that hard). Here are nine (very simple) things you can do every day.

Stuff White People Like, Conan O’Brien.

Sunset Magazine: How To Make Fresh Cheese. (Oh, put down the tweeter twitter and do something fun…that you can eat.)

You can also read my take on Avatar over at Lip-Sticking.

And, if you don’t feel like staring into your screen a minute longer…take a walk, maybe to the library, like I’m doing this afternoon, to browse through good old-fashioned dead-tree media…and enjoy the bright blue sky and snow-covered mountain views along the way.

As always, with our 24-hour news cycle – we’re being bombarded with doom, woe, and end of civility. Many an columnist and pundit is bemoaning that we’ve become a nation of disheartened, cowardly do-nothings. It’s hopeless. America is doomed, etc. etc. etc.

Here’s a quote that sums it up nicely:

“Courage disappeared from American public life in xxxx, and has been absent now for x years. There have always been cowards in our politics, there has always been an uncertainity of leadership, but never before has the whole nation become cowardly and remained cowardly over so long a space of time, never has it dodged every vital question that came up, and never has there been such a dismal lack of leaders – or at least one leader at a time – to whom it would listen.”

Think this was written by someone gazing back fondly at – say – the Reagan presidency? Maybe an unrepentant Kennedy fan? Well, there’s a reason I put those “x’s” in there (Jill – if you’re reading, I’m sure you’re way ahead of me…;-)

The above is from an article, Wanted: Political Courage, by Charles Willis Thompson…in the November 1932 issue of Harpers Magazine. He believed courage disappeared in 1919, “13 years ago.”

Two of my favorite authors died recently – Robert B. Parker and Louis Auchincloss. They couldn’t have been more different – in lifestyle or writing style. Parker wrote lean, entertaining prose about private eyes and gunfighters. Auchincloss lived among and wrote about the wealthy upper crust of Manhattan, a worthy successor some say to Edith Wharton (also another of my favorite authors.)

From the NYT obits:

“Mr. Parker wrote the Spenser novels in the first person, employing the blunt, masculine prose style that is often described as Hemingwayesque. But his writing also seems self-aware, even tongue-in-cheek, as though he recognized how well worn such a path was. And his dialogue was especially arch…”

“Of all our novelists, Auchincloss is the only one who tells us how our rulers behave in their banks and their boardrooms, their law offices and their clubs,” Gore Vidal once wrote. “Not since Dreiser has an American writer had so much to tell us about the role of money in our lives.”

No matter how different Parker and Auchincloss were – they knew how to get people and feelings on the page, and make it interesting – whether writing about a smart-mouthed Boston PI (Spenser) or a lawyer in a white shoe firm. And, that’s why I love their work.

So, in memory of them – I’ve started re-reading their books in chronological order (you can find many at your local library.) Some haven’t aged well (the discussion of feminism and middle-aged angst in Parker’s Promised Land [published 1976] for example, gets tedious. Skip a few pages and focus on the characters.) But, even when showing their age, the books are quality endeavors worthy of a few hours of Friday martini time.

(And, yes, J.D. Salinger also died this week, but I could never get into Catcher In the Rye…with apologies to all my teachers who made me read it.)

I love apocalyptic movies and books – even the bad ones are good for a bit of entertainment. (I highly recommend 2012 – if you’re not a stickler for little things like realism and consistency…;-)

But, never – in any of the horrifying survival scenarios – does someone say, “We’ve got to have a banker if we’re going to make it!” Engineers. Farmers. Doctors. Carpenters. Soldiers. Yep, all those. But nary a banker (and – nope – no marketing consultants needed either. Not much call for product launch planning when people are hunting cats for food.)

So, just why do bankers get paid so much? Because that’s the way the system works (or doesn’t, as we’ve seen over the past couple of years.) If we stripped away the artificial constructs of our society, there’d be no need for anyone whose sole skill was making money out of – well – money. (Cut to scene from I Am Legend where Will Smith chases his dog into a dark building filled with zombie vampires – where piles of stained and useless paper are laying around…the paper being money.)

Steven Brill wrote an excellent article, What’s a Bailed-Out Banker Really Worth? It’s an intelligent analysis, not a hatchet job. But the bankers themselves don’t seem to know when to shut up; they’ve lived so long in the stratosphere, they’ve lost touch with reality, as evidenced in this statement to Brill, “A lot of our folks have second and third homes and alimony payments and other obligations that require substantial current cash.”

Now, I’m all for capitalism. I have nothing against people making as much money as they can (without totally screwing someone else.) I hope to have a (small) second home one of these days (had one in the past). However, when I read this statement, I have a Bolshevik twinge or two.

And, of course, it’s not just bankers. As Warren Buffett is also quoted in the Brill article,

“Too often, executive compensation in the U.S. is ridiculously out of line with performance. . . . . A mediocre-or-worse C.E.O. — aided by his handpicked V.P. of human relations and a consultant from the ever-accommodating firm of Ratchet, Ratchet and Bingo — all too often receives gobs of money from an ill-designed compensation arrangement.”

I call this the “C-syndrome.”  I’ve known any number of CEOs who consistently fail (company folds, people lose the jobs, class-action suits are filed…) and  yet keep going – to better gigs and more money.  Once you’re in the club, you’ve got to really, really screw up to get kicked out.

I’ve got no answers. I don’t know how we “fix” the system or even if it can be fixed. However, I’m an optimistic realist (I have absolutely no patience with people that somehow thought Obama was going to magically and quickly change everything for the better once he got into office.) I think our society is changing for the better, ever so slowly and in small ways. And, that change begins and ends with you and me.

Now, I’ve got to go polish off a list of marketing consultant type of things…with Terminator Salvation awaiting me for my Friday Martini Time.

If you liked this post, please donate a couple of bucks or so to Haiti relief. Here are just three ways:
The Red Cross is taking donations via text messages. Text the word HAITI to the number 90999 to donate $10 to Red Cross relief efforts. It’ll show up on your phone bill. Or donate online at RedCross.org.

Catholic Relief Services is responding to the aftermath of the massive earthquake that struck near the capital of Port au Prince. www.crs.org.

Doctors Without Borders is asking for donations to help the emergency response teams in Haiti. Donate with a debit or credit card at https://donate.doctorswithoutborders.org.

As things often go, I’ll be working next week (ah, the ‘freedom’ of being self-employed!) However, (as always – who am I kidding?) I’ll fit in some reading and watching. So, here are a few wildly eclectic recommendations for your downtime:

Reading:
The Widow of the South, by Robert Hicks. Based on real people and the bloodiest battle of the Civil War. Gives you a whole new perspective on the hardships of life and love. Folks back then didn’t waste a lot of time whining about “self-actualization.” And, if you lost a leg – tough. You strapped on a wooden one and got back to work. But fair warning – it’s hard to put down (Take the cookies out of the oven BEFORE you start…)

Deep In the Green, An Exploration of Country Pleasures, by Anne Raver. If you love gardening and – well – living, you’ll enjoy this collection of essays. (This is an Amazon info link – but you can probably find at your local library to check out or buy; that’s where I bought my copy.)

Old favorites to read and re-read: Ernest Hemingway’s A Moveable Feast; The Collected Works of O. Henry; The ghost stories of Edith Wharton; Lee Child’s Jack Reacher series (action thrillers…bullets fly…women sigh [and are often the shooters])

…and, of course…Dickens’ Christmas Carol. Forget the warm, fuzzy (and often awful) movies and television shows. Good, entertaining writing.

Watching:
Sons of Anarchy, Season One. As is my wont, I got interested in this series late in the second season, and was missing a lot of the character history. I’m now addicted. Sure, it’s about a motorcycle club, but it’s also about the complications of human interaction. Terrific performance by Katy Sagal as the queen of the Sons (you’ll never think of Peg Bundy again); rip-roarin’ plots; and creative writing. (They still can’t say some things on FX, so the writers have to come with alternative dialogue that sounds natural coming from rough, tough, MC members. And, it’s actually more shocking than throwing the boring F-bomb around.)

Bones – any season. The crime investigation process is total fantasy (FBI agent and forensic anthropologist quickly solve weird murders, using about a bazillion dollars in technology) However, it’s really a screwball romantic comedy with wonderful ensemble acting. (The actors seem to be having fun, so you will too.) However, don’t plan on eating dinner during the first five minutes or so…

P.S. TAKE some downtime…enjoy the holidays. Shopping shouldn’t be a competitive event.

NYT: In Month of Giving, A Healthy Reward.

There’s no question that it gives life a greater meaning when we make this kind of shift in the direction of others and get away from our own self-preoccupation and problems,” said Stephen G. Post, director of the Center for Medical Humanities, Compassionate Care and Bioethics at Stony Brook University on Long Island and a co-author of “Why Good Things Happen to Good People” (Broadway, 2007). “But it also seems to be the case that there is an underlying biology involved in all this.”

One reason I give and volunteer is that it makes me feel good (totally selfish, heh?) For example, emptying my spare change from the car into the Salvation Army bucket. (I keep between $5 and $10 tucked away for parking, lunches, etc.) I’ll never miss it and it helps. It’s also gratifying and motivating to chat with the happy man ringing the bell on a frigid day.

Of course, giving doesn’t have to involve your spare change. It can be as simple as letting the other person have the last word (always hard for me)…or the last piece of cake (ditto).

OR…

Saying “thank you” and meaning it. (Here in the U.S. it’s become a meaningless reflex.)

Being respectful of your waiter or waitress even (especially) if they are surly and inefficient. (You try dealing with a jackass boss, dirty tables, a crazy cook and hurting feet.)

Holding doors for the person behind you (and I mean holding. Not the half-hearted backward palm on the rapidly closing door.)

Letting a tired Mom cut in front of you in line (and holding the door for her as she maneuvers that cart with the babies.)

All of which I did this week – and should always do. But, I get so involved in my oblivious, busy! busy! bubble of a life…I sometimes forget that giving is good for me.

I’m currently reading Rules of Thumb, 52 Truths For Winning at Business Without Losing Your Self, by Alan M. Webber.  Webber has serious thought leader/biz cred since he was the co-founder of Fast Company magazine.

As one might expect of a professional, thinking journalist, Webber has written a book that is easy to read, imminently dippable and provokes thought.  He probably isn’t saying anything we’ve not heard before (somewhere), but it gets my synapses to snapping…and he reminds me of other authors with good ideas, such as Dan Pink.

Two of the Rules to get you thinking:

#27: If You Want To Be Like Google, Learn Megan Smith’s Three Rules. (Ms. Smith is the Vice President, New Business Development, and General Manager, Google.org)

Aside from the fact that reading Ms. Smith’s background makes me feel like a talentless lump of inert matter…the rules are oh-so-simple (and oh-so-hard to follow for many – scary!)

1. The customer participates.

2. The customer drives.

3. Open systems beat closed systems.

As Webber notes, companies no longer have control, rather they like it or not.  Customers “drive” all over the Web getting info, shopping, and sharing their experience.  So, for all those folks that are still “considering if they want to give up control” (as I read in an article headline about the health care industry considering social media…Yes, the health care industry) – sorry, you’re not even in the car.

#29: Words Matter. A single word can make all the difference…Webber gives the example of the KaosPilots school for social entrepreneurs.  They changed their slogan from “The best school in the world” to “The best school for the world.”  (And note, no sign of “innovative” “leading” or “solutions” …;-)

“The difference between the right word and the almost-right word is the difference between lightening and the lightning bug.” – Mark Twain (quote from the chapter’s “So what” section, which also reminds me I need to go pull Twain’s books off the shelf and do some re-reading.)

I didn’t give the link to Amazon to buy the book, since you can probably find it at your local library (as I did.)  You can also probably pick up some of my other recommended (and recent) reading:

Robert B. Parker, The Professional.  The 452nd Spenser book (well, it seems that way.)  If you don’t know the character, I’d recommend you start with the very first one, The Godwulf Manuscript and keep going.  It’s a whole universe, with interesting characters you’ll watch change and grow through the years (even PI Spenser’s insufferably self-involved, pompous princess of a lady love, Susan Silverman, has gotten more tolerable through the years.)  Total entertainment, easy-to-read and well-written.

Thunder at Twilight, Vienna 1913/1914, by Frederic Morton.  Terrific, engaging writing and great perspective on the recent economic strum n’ drang.

I’ll also be working on a pile of comic books graphic novels over ‘toonis this evening, including the latest issue of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Season 8. If only Joss Whedon, Buffy’s creator, were running the show at V- it might actually be entertaining. (Did I mention that both Webber and Dan Pink recommend you look at/read/consider things outside your norm?)

It’s that time of year – another election looms. And, once again, the candidates for mayor have gone negative. “I’m not him! He’s a slimeball!” Those big, blaring postcards? Right into the recycling bin here at the Schmidt house.

Guys? I’m pretty good at recognizing faces; I’ve met you. I already know you’re – um – different people. What else have you got?

And, to further irritate me – they’re throwing in the occasional dash of “Be afraid! Be very afraid!” Yes, I know we’ve got crime in Albuquerque, but…there’s crime everywhere…and I’d far rather walk the absolutely worst neighborhood in our city at midnight than drive through some areas of – say – Philly at high noon, with gangsta dealers on seemingly every corner. “No, thanks, really. I’ve gotten my crack for the week already.”

Tell me something positive that you will do to make our city better (and, no, it can’t simply be “put more cops on the street.” Great. More bullets may fly.)

One of the bedrock principles of (good, responsible) marketing is that you never, ever diss the competing company. Makes you look petty at best. People want to know what you do, how you can help them…not how awful the other company (or candidate) is…especially if they’ve already bought from that company or voted for that candidate (“Look how STUPID you were to do that! Now, pick me, me!“)

Think this is all so much marketing soapbox bla-blah? Well, I’d pretty much decided to vote for Candidate B…until I got that first negative postcard from his campaign…Now, I’m undecided (and irritated…and won’t feel good about my choice, whatever it ends up being.)

On a positive note – The International Balloon Fiesta begins this weekend (one of the many, many wonderful things about living in Albuquerque). I’ll be sipping champagne and watching the mass ascension tomorrow early, early…and most assuredly NOT thinking about politics. Have a great weekend, y’all.

NYT: A Troubling Timeline for a Certain Age Group

Doesn’t it seem like death is working overtime? Every day there’s a new obit – yesterday it was Henry Gibson of Laugh-In. I’m continuing to mourn Patrick Swayze, star of some the best bad movies ever made. Even though I’ve seen Dirty Dancing about 15 times – if I chance on it channel-surfing, I stop and stay until the end. (”Oh, here’s the scene where…”) Road House is my all-time favorite; he played a famous (?!) bar bouncer with a PhD in philosophy and a very calm, zen outlook, except when he’s beating the ever-lovin’ crap out of Ben Gazzara. (!??!) Trust me, you’ve got to watch it.

Of course, according to actual statistics, this summer hasn’t been any more deadly than last…but so many of the icons of our young baby boomer days are now gone…we realize that – hey – we may be next! We’re NOT IMMORTAL!

Now, I know I won’t live forever. I know I’ll die. But, I don’t really believe it. However, as the article notes,

This summer could come to be known as the summer when baby boomers began to turn to the obituary pages first, to face not merely their own mortality or ponder their legacies, but to witness the passing of legends who defined them as a tribe, bequeathing through music, culture, news and politics a kind of generational badge that has begun to fray.

Like, wow, man. Bummer. But, the good news is:

“I think this is the first time so many have simultaneously had an awareness of death and the prospect of a whole new act,” Mr. Freedman said. “Never before have there been so many people who have so much experience and the time left to do something with it.”

Mr. Swayze died way too young and too painfully. But he also lived until he died (although his appearance absolutely broke my heart when I watched A&E’s The Beast. And, he was really the only reason I was watching.) So, that’s what I plan to do…no shuffling here, and nobody’s putting this baby in a corner…;-)

P.S. Spike TV is showing Road House this Saturday night, 10 ET.

One of my favorite scenes in Ghost Town (a movie about Bertram Pincus, a dentist whose people skills leave much to be desired, and sees dead people, who annoy him even more than live ones.) goes like this:

Dr. Prashar: Dr. Pincus, at some point in your life, you’re gonna have to stop and ask yourself the ultimate question.
Bertram Pincus: [nods curiously]
Dr. Prashar: “This business of… being such a f##king pr###, what is it really getting me?” Huh?

Now, I’m not recommending you ask this every time somebody annoys you…but, it’s a good question to ask yourself.

I was reminded of this in watching some goings-on with various vendors, clients, client employees, and nonprofits with which I’m involved this week. (Is the moon full or what?) People were snipping, snapping, growling, exploding…and what was it getting them? Not good results, that’s for sure. Or, if they did get whatever they were after with their behavior…it’s a sure bet the other person is now lying in wait for next time…Toxicity begats toxicity.

P.S. Pincus is played by Ricky Gervais, who can do a lot with a little. I also like that while the movie has an upbeat ending, Pincus doesn’t end up with “the girl,” only the possibility, maybe.

Tags: communications, common courtesy, Mary Schmidt, Friday Martini Time