Mary Schmidt Marketing Troubleshooter

After all, it’s a marketing professionals web site. Lots of good info, different perspectives, something for everyone. EXCEPT…when I want to read a “premium” article. I can sign up for a free two-day trial - but they still want all my info (in multiple “continue” screens), including credit card info - so at 12:01 a.m. the day after expiration, they can charge the card. Yes, I get they want to get paid and what they offer has value…but…

Why not give me a password that’ll expire and let me read the content right then? Then, I’d be far more likely to sign up for more. (Also, consider “pay as you go” for certain articles.)

(This taps one my pet peeves - all the companies who design their systems as sales traps, hoping you’ll forget you gave them your credit card info…for subscriptions, “auto renewals” and all the rest.)

Tags: marketing, marketing troubleshooting, web marketing, customer service, emarketing

…and meanwhile as the both the publishing and advertising industries run around screaming and acting in blind panic…

Last night as a friend and I were bemoaning the loss of some good magazines and kvetching the reason we don’t read others…she noted that “I don’t want to pay to read ads that someone else has already paid to place.”

Hmmm….could it all come back to: a. knowing your target market; b. offering quality?

Tags: marketing, marketing troubleshooting, publishing, target marketing

I’ve always wondered what the Chinese must think as they make things like truck balls and hats that (literally) look like a pile of crap. “Man, these silly Americans will buy ANYTHING!…Hey, wait a minute, we keep loaning money to these idiots…”

The other day I was browsing the aisles of Talin Market, a locally-owned, wonderfully eclectic supermarket - with foods and items for all over the world. As I was happily pondering the miscellany in the kitchen equipment section…I happened onto the Rachael Ray Garbage Bowl. Yes, I could buy my very own plastic bowl, “branded” by RR. According to the blog post announcing it back in 2007:

“Okay Garbage Bowl fans, happy times are coming. According to HFN, Rachael Ray has teamed up with to tabletop and giftware manufacturer Precidio Inc. to create a line of melamine and acrylic tableware.”

Garbage Bowl fans??? (I can practically hear the snickers from China now…)

Now, I actually like Ms. Ray; I even watch her cooking show on occasion. (For those of you who don’t - she always has a designated garbage bowl on the counter for all those scraps and such. Makes it faster and easier to put a meal together.) But, little did I know that my using a plain ol’ mixing bowl for the potato peelings is insufficient. Nooo…I really should have an OFFICIAL garbage bowl.

Another case of product line extension (and some marketers) run amok. And slapping someone’s name on something doesn’t guarantee success. (Ed McMahon vodka anyone? May he rest in peace.)

(And isn’t it nice they show the bowl with - um - garbage in it so we don’t get confused?)

Tags: marketing, marketing troubleshooting, product development, branding, product line extensions

You’ve already read about eleventy billion tips on how to survive it (including posts here). However, apparently many aren’t reading them.

I’m truly amazed (maybe I’m clinging to some girlish naivete), how many ginormous/small/micro companies (and their employees) still treat their customers like an irritating distraction. So, based on my own experience, here’s a list for those folks who apparently DON’T want to survive.

1. Never, ever, under any circumstances answer your phone. And make sure you have a very long and detailed instructions message before anyone can do anything.

2. Make sure your voice mail box is a dead end. You’re not there? Too bad. They can call back on the main line. After all, you’ve got customers lined out the door, right?

3. Don’t ever check your email. After all, you’re busy trying to survive, right? And, you get all that spam. (Tip for those of you who’d actually like to survive: If you don’t have killer spam filters by now, get caught up…you can cut out about 99.99% of it.)

4. Make sure your web site is as user-unfriendly as possible. (”Download the 9-page rental application. Fill out and fax.”)

4.A. Bonus points if people have to spend time searching the site to find that form…more points if they have to keep digging for a phone number…then see #1 and #2 above.

5. Spend what’s left of your marketing budget on email blizzards. (I got a spam from DQ today for - appropriately - a blizzard. And, Saks still sends me junk. Now, how on earth can I be in the same target demographic for both belly bustin’ fast food and Saks 5th Avenue couture?)

6. Be too busy to answer a customer question. You’ve already got their money, whadda they gonna do?

7. Be very selective to whom you do talk. If they can’t give you business right now, what good are they? (Yes, and “they” could be best friends with the CEO of the company you’ve been chasing for months…or serve on a board with the community poobahs…or write a blog or column about customer service…)

7.A. Under no circumstances return the “little people’s” phone calls or emails.

8. Lie to your customer. Then tell her you never said it. Then claim “it’s not in the contract.” (Be sure and lose the contract when she first sends it to you. Then, never, ever have a copy handy for reference.)

9. Never apologize to anyone for anything. Always, always attack them, preferably in front of witnesses - it’s more fun that way. (You got their money already, whadda they gonna do? It’s not like they’ll tell others about you, right? Wrong. See #7 above.)

10. Always judge a book by the cover. If someone walks into your office, without an appointment, in ratty jeans and asks about your company…snub ‘em. You’re all dressed up in a suit, you’re important, you’re busy…and this guy can’t possibly have any money. (True story from one of my clients. Guy walks in. Had been snubbed by another firm. Two days later a check arrives from the guy for nearly $10K.)

11. Give all the responsibility for a customer experience to one person, preferably someone way down the food chain, who resents their “lowly” position. (Hey, I get it. I’ve been all up and down that chain and it’s hard. But, I’m funny. My parents raised me with this stupid, old-fashioned work ethic. Whatever you do - from a paper route to dish washing - you should do well. And, one of the happiest people I ever met was…a tow truck driver.)

12. Spend all your time kvetching about what you can’t do…how you can’t get any money…how the customers just aren’t spending…(Uh-huh. See #1-11.)

Related Posts:
Wellll, In This Economy
How To Survive The Economy (Quit Obsessing)
Duck and Cover Ain’t A Success Strategy

Tags: marketing, marketing troubleshooting, small business marketing, customer service, surviving the recession

They still teach the hoary ol’ “4 Ps” (Product, Pricing, Placement & Promotion)in marketing classes…(it really should be more like 7 or 8, and “promotion” is a lot more than advertising out in the real world.)

TV Week Headline: Bad TV News: GM Owes Ad Firms $167.4 Mil

Wired Headline: Unknown Automaker Could Build The First Electric Sedan

Wonder what could have been done in product development for $167.4 Mil (then add in the millions and millions they spent on lobbying to keep gas guzzlers, fight airbags, etc…and the ginormous bonuses to “talent” to do the same old thing.) Hmmm…

Read More: No Reason GM Can’t Make The Cadillac of Comebacks(Of course, they’d have to commit to building great cars.)

Tags: marketing, marketing troubleshooting, product development, General Motors, advertising

Nissan is importing its Cube to the U.S. this year. As Ezra Dyer notes in the NYT (Hello Kitty, Your Car is Waiting) “The Cube is more like a Nintendo Wii: accessible, fun, and deeply strange in an authentically Japanese way.”

Hmmm…well, I’ve never understood the Japanese obsession with cutesy-wutesy (When I worked at NEC, I got to see a lot “cute” high tech products in the development stage, complete with lots and lots of pink. Go figure.) But, here’s what I think Nissan is doing right. The Cube is DIFFERENT. It’s not “just another car.” You’re either going to love it…or not.

Now, if GM would bring out a high mileage car that looks like this…

Things would really get interesting.

(My dream car is a 1957 t-bird, not pink…;-)

P.S. If I had the garage space (and dinero) - I might just get a Cube for fun. “Deeply strange” appeals to me.

Tags: marketing, marketing troubleshooting, product development, Nissan Cube

Marketing has changed (and continues to change) so dramatically that as a fellow marketer said, “What works today probably won’t work next month.”

That may be overstating the case a bit, but not by much.

Example: I’ve been out on the Web for a while - things keep changing (as do I and my clients) - so I no longer obsess care about:

Technorati rankings. They’re totally whacked. They list one content skimmer link multiple times and then don’t list legitimate ones. And, what’s with listing my own posts repeatedly - when I’ve not even done any cross-linking? Like I said, totally whacked.

Plus, I’m getting an increasing amount of linking (and readership) via Facebook. (However, FB in and of itself is NOT a “social media strategy.”)

The number of comments on my blog. Okay, I cared when I first started - but that was four years ago. Now, I’m happy with the people who subscribe - and who I know read it, even if they don’t always comment. Plus, my site traffic remains healthy, thanks to the blog content, which brings me to…

My Google ranking. I don’t have to care. I’ve got enough content (and add enough frequently enough) that I’ve been at the top of search results for “Mary Schmidt” and “Marketing Troubleshooter” for a long time. And, I get my biz from people who have met me live and in person…know me…have worked with me, so I’m not all that excited about cold web site traffic (For the kind of things I do, it’s quality not quantity.)

This does not mean, however, you should never care about (or look at) your site traffic. Analytics give you valuable data on what needs to be improved, changed or deleted. (Especially - duh - if you’ve got an e-commerce site - you need conversions.)

My brochure. I don’t even have one. In today’s virtual world - it’s not needed. And, when I do need on occasion need hard copy for a client proposal, I can do a custom piece and use my great pro-quality color printer.

“Getting PR” By this I mean the old-style “send out a press release to everyone” PR and hopin’ for the headlines. These days it’s all about PERSONAL relations not PUBLIC relations. Sure, it’s nice to be “in the paper” and whenever I’m in it, I usually get some business. (I’ve been on the front page of NM Biz Weekly more than once…had some great biz profiles/interviews published…and I’m still working for a living…;-)

If you’ve got high visibility on the Web, it’ll translate into media exposure. I can get more exposure (and potential biz) with just one link via FB…so I don’t obsess about PR.

This doesn’t mean, of course, you should ignore PR…but it’s changed and continues to change. The line between offline and online marketing tactics have become very blurred - so you need an integrated plan now more than ever.

P.S. What works for me and my “sole proprietor, ‘brain for hire’ ‘I care more about quality of life than quantity of money’ marketing almost assuredly won’t fit your biz model. One size doesn’t fit all, regardless of what some marketing flim-flammers pitch.

Tags: marketing, marketing troubleshooting, emarketing, PR, entrepreneur sanity check, Google rankings, Technorati, Facebook”

Short answer: No. As long as people enjoy communicating and connecting - any viable method of doing so is - well - viable.

NYT sidebar: “Social Networks Eclipse Email”
1,905: percentage change in time spent on online video from February 2003 to February 2009.
883: percentage change time spent in online member communities from February 2003 to February 2009.

…As the thundering herd rushes to the next “new” thing…

Email (yawn, prehistoric, doncha know?) is supposed to be downright fossilized. If that’s true why is my box full every morning? And why do the spammers keep on a’spamin’?

I have noticed that people don’t comment as much on many of the blogs. Instead, we post, link and comment over at Facebook…(but most of us are still blogging, as well, then posting our tiny URL link on the Facebook page.)

Speaking as a member of the - um - herd, I don’t think any means of communications is ever really “dead.” If it works for the people involved, it’s not obsolete.

Now, I think I’ll go write a snail mail get well note to a friend…then I may pour another cup of coffee and read today’s NYT Science section (dead trees all over my house), right after I read the latest online about Obama’s Supremes’ selection….then back to writing blog posts here and elsewhere…

Read More: Friday Fun - Bring Back The Blog (Diva Marketing blog)

Tags: marketing, marketing troubleshooting, emarketing, blogging, communications

I’d say yes. And, maybe the era of the mega-corporations is over. (Discuss amongst yourselves…will it even be possible for the machines another GM to rise? In today’s flattened world, is it even desirable? Does the upcoming/evolving creative class want or need a old-time corporate structure? I know what I think…)

But…let’s get back to what I intended to be a short post on over-expansion. Starbucks is currently spending millions on new advertising, and doing their best to leverage/plug into social media (They’ve got a lot of Facebook fans, but does that translate into sales? I can’t buy coffee virtually.)

I’d not-so-humbly submit that their core problem remains over-expansion. And, as part of that expansion, they had “dumbed down” their brand….trying to attract all kinds of new customers…making it “easier” for the baristas to make a cup…selling music…(they’ve since gone back to in-store bean grinding, a good thing.)

From the article: “..The full-page newspaper ads go to some length to describe how Starbucks selects only the best 3 percent of beans and roasts them until they pop twice, and gives its part-time workers health insurance.

Starbucks chose the copy-filled ads, which were popular in the 1960s and 1970s, because it wanted to put its full story out, Mr. Davenport said. ‘Even if you cruise by and don’t stop to read every word, the net impression is, ‘Wow, Starbucks has a lot to say about coffee.’ That might not be the right strategy for young people, said Richard Honack, a professor of marketing at the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern. Unlike Starbucks’ older customers, “Generation Y goes to Starbucks for the Internet, the music, a place to hang out,” he said. “Selling them the coffee and where the coffee comes from? I just don’t know if that’s a good idea.’”

I’m not Gen Y. I love to read. I love coffee. I skip right over those full-page ads (yawn…I already know Starbucks) and I make my own coffee.

I give Starbucks credit for trying…wonder if all those tweets that are supposedly happening will translate into dollars? Interesting to watch, in any event.

Related Posts:
This Is Not Your Mother’s Instant Coffee

Tags: marketing, marketing troubleshooting, customer service, Starbucks, Starbucks advertising, branding

Normally, I delete, unopened, any email with a subject line like, “hello!” but I’m expecting an email from a new referred client so….

Turned out it’s a very poorly translated (and spelled) email pitching “electornic products” - giving me the link to the website where “the price is a surprising happiness to you!”

Here’s the thing - price is almost never happy-making. It’s a given, a requirement, something to be paid in exchange for something we want (and we’ll pay more for wants than needs any day.) Further, “surprising” people with a price is a bad idea…if it’s too low, they wonder what’s wrong. Too high, and they feel baited and switched.

Now, back to deleting, unopened, the next batch of cold PR emails pitching Dad’s day ideas…Happy Tuesday!

P.S. People love great deals…and that’s different from a great price. Think about it.

Tags: pricing, marketing troubleshooting, entrepreneur sanity check