Mary Schmidt Marketing Troubleshooter

NYT: E-Book Wars: The Specialist vs. the Multitasker “The Kindle from Amazon.com is designed to let us do one thing very well: read. To survive, it must excel at this, not only by jostling to stay a nose ahead of other e-readers, but also by maintaining an enormous lead over the Apple iPad and its coming competitors. The multipurpose iPad can do thousands of things very well; used for reading book-length texts, it doesn’t excel, but it’s passable.”

A friend was recently trying to decide between an iPad and a Kindle. She felt the iPad was beyond her budget. And, she’s right. If all she wants is an “e-reader” – why spend the bucks? But she was in a quandary, since the iPad is – well – the “hot” product.

She’s in good company – even high-techers who should know better get all confused. A lot of tech marketers are thrashing around, trying to find/define a target – tablets, laptops, PDAs, e-readers…whatever Apple offers we’ll offer! Me TWO! US TOO! (later, cheaper, not as good…okay, I’m prejudiced but neither Dell’s nor Microsoft’s history give me confidence they’ll bring out anything terrific.)

The iPad is a cool tool – for both fun and biz. It comes in handy for one-on-one sales presentations (and thanks to the inherent functionality, your stuff will look cooler on the iPad, especially if you use Keynote.) One VC observes it seems to be the board room choice du jour (if you don’t want to take lots of notes.) I like its extreme mobility – tuck into my portfolio, zip and go, no special case or lugging required. The keyboard is functional enough for short, don’t lose the thought meeting notes, which I can then email with a click of a button.

I can also use it to read books, including classics (free) from Austen and Poe. (I’ve also downloaded the Constitution and Bill of Rights – and re-read both documents, something I highly recommend to t-par-tees everywhere…;-) However, to read anything in copyright – I still have to buy the books. I’d rather use my local library, for free, with online reservations. The “e-reader” function is a “nice to have” for me, not the reasons I love the iPad.

So, here’s the thing – before companies started the whole “me TWO!” reaction to Apple, they should have looked at the actual customer a bit more closely. How are people actually using the iPad (or Kindle?) Some may have both. I’d also buy the Kindle if I still had an insane travel schedule – due to Kindle’s longer battery life and lighter weight. (When you’re schlepping luggage for [literally] miles of airport corridors, every ounce counts.)

In my not-so-humble opinion, comparing the iPad market share to that of Kindle is like comparing apples to oranges (Sorry, I couldn’t resist.)

“We were second and almost as good!” isn’t likely to win much (sustainable) biz. You don’t always have to be first, but you should be different (and different enough.)

Last but certainly not least – how long can a market be sustained for a “single use” product? (Word processors? Fax machines? Electronic calculators? Postage meters?) Discuss amongst yourselves.
Read More:
Microsoft’s Me TOO (Two) Strategy
Dell’s Exciting New Streak! (Yawn)
My guest post at Lip-sticking: I’m in Lust with My iPad.

As Maureen Dowd asks in Our Mosque Madness, “What is so frightening about Fox News?”

Target marketing is always tricky. If you do it right, you’re going to cut yourself off from a certain percentage of the market…but they wouldn’t buy from you anyway. (Investors, CEOs, and lazy marketers often have trouble with this concept).

I’m going to dance up to the verboten border between commenting on biz and politics today. The ongoing hysteria, misinformation and political maneuvering re the “Ground Zero” mosque is just too good of an example of what can happen when you start chasing the wrong customer (or wrong voters in this case.)

Both Governor Christie and Mayor Bloomberg have bravely (?! Isn’t it sad I say, “bravely”?) stood up for religious freedom and common sense. And, President Obama started that way…then waffled.

Here’s the thing – no matter what Obama does, the GOP is going to attack him. Tea parties will always hate him. And, anyone who actually takes Fox News seriously is NEVER going to to vote for him…or any supposedly “dangerously liberal” candidates. Obama never did very well, even at the height of his popularity, with “old white males” (the majority of Fox viewers are over 60, white and male.) So, why chase ‘em?

Related Posts:
Sell To the People Who Want It
Stop With The Polls Already!
McCain’s Brand Disconnect
Our Target: The Stupid People

As a homeowner who does a wee bit of DIY – I’m a fan of Holmes on Homes…when I can bear to watch. It’s an hour of a professional contractor fixing the godawful, so-called “work” of other contractors. Everything from plumbing pipes running on the outside of the wall to nails driven through substandard wiring.

And, frequently, the home owners have already paid the shoddy contractors huge amounts of money…and/or are facing a lien or lawsuit. After all, “We did the work!”

Well yes, indeedy. They did the work. And, yes, the homeowners have walls/heat/electric light/running water. Never mind that the walls are dangerously leaning, the heating fan is installed backwards, the electrical wiring is a fire waiting to happen, or the waste water keeps on running into a big pool around the foundation.

In addition to being grateful I’ve not had to deal with such nightmares, I find myself getting embarrassed for the contractors. It’s even more embarrassing that they don’t seem embarrassed…in fact, don’t apparently see anything wrong. Hey, we did the work! Pay us! (This embarrassment hang-up is also why I can no longer watch I Love Lucy, as fondly as I remember the show from growing up. Painful!…but I digress.)

Unfortunately, this slovenly “I did the work, man” mentality can be found in any industry or job. It’s why so many web site designers, programmers, attorneys, ad agencies (and yes, consultants) get a bad rap. They often deserve it.

So, if you plan to hire any kind of contractor (including a marketer), keep the following in mind:

1. T&M contracts. These shouldn’t be open-ended. Tie time (and deliverables’ quality) to payments.

A friend of mine is still trying to extricate herself from a carpenter’s greedy clutches at her vacation home…since he just keeps going…takes forever to actually finish anything…the place keeps getting messier…and she’s way too nice to flat out fire him. (She also has nothing in writing.)

2. Retainer contracts. This is how I typically work with clients, but I also lay out specifics of what I’ll do and key deliverables. For new clients, I put in a kill clause so they feel comfortable they can fire me at any time, with a bit of notice (never happened, but…)

3. Work product ownership. Any work done for you for pay is yours. Period. If the contract isn’t written that way, find another contractor.

4. (Really) check those references. Certainly, people aren’t going to give you the names of unhappy customers, but make the calls and ask the (right) questions, such as “What happened when there was a problem?” or “How did they notify you of issues?” or “How did they handle bug reports?” The mark of a true pro is what he or she does when there’s a screw up, not when things are running smoothly.

4.5. Google the contractor. Go deeper than the first page. I’ve found pending lawsuits for supposedly reputable consultants.

5. NDAs. Never assume that because the work product ownership is covered, your IP is protected. Get the NDA signed before you start sharing. (There are standard boilerplate forms readily available on the Web, if you need one quickly.)

6. When in doubt, have your (vetted, reputable) attorney review. For that matter, even when you’re not in doubt, even if it’s a “simple” contract – especially if you’ve never worked with the contractor before. Nasty bits can be buried in those there fores and whereas (including the contractor owning your stuff…such as web site domains and code.)

“What could possibly go wrong? They seem like such nice people!” are words that tempt the Gods. That’s why we have contracts. Contracts often won’t prevent problems (or prevent shoddy work) but they can help set parameters that’ll make the other party behave (or at least think twice before they start making threats.)

The recent shameful mess (and media pile-on) re the firing of Shirley Sherrod is yet another example of otherwise intelligent people blindly reacting.  Instead of taking time (in the Google age, this could be – gasp – long minutes) to do some research and find out the truth and context of Ms. Sherrod’s remarks, the USDA went into full political panic mode (“We’re under attack”  “OMG, Sherrod is racist!”)…and to add insult to injury, they forced her to pull over to the side of the road and submit her resignation via her Blackberry. (?!!!)

She is reportedly uncertain if she’d go back to work for the USDA (or any other government post). Well. Duh.

So, this is a “learnable moment” for all of us.

When confronted with an issue (first make sure it IS an issue.)

Stop.

Breathe.

Think.

Then don’t rush to the keyboard or phone.

What’s the outcome you need from this?

Then proceed.

(Me?  Sometimes I wait a whole day, before doing anything…maybe even the weekend! World hasn’t ended yet.)

P.S. Sometimes it’s best to do or say nothing.  A radical concept in today’s tweeting, you-tubing world, I know.

CenturyTel is now CenturyLink. yippee.

“CenturyLink was selected as the brand name to reflect a forward-looking company that is committed to linking the country together, connecting people and creating opportunities,” the company said in a statement.

CenturyTel – ur – CenturyLink is the future owner of Qwest – which provides my phone, internet and television service. As a customer, I couldn’t care less what they name the company – a name doesn’t affect my service or price. As a customer and a marketer – I can only wonder and ponder at the time and dollars that went into this NEW name. Time and dollars that could be far better spent on something such as improving the customer billing process or service.

Oh there I go again…

Earlier this week we had the dry run for the TVC equity symposium – where entrepreneurs give their 10-minute presentation for critiquing. One comment comes up with depressing regularity – “I don’t understand the slide.” The presenter smiles and nods and we move on. I, meanwhile, am often thinking, “Well, you would have if you had been listening.” My (very) latent maternal instinct kicks in when “my guys” are criticized, but is this really a “girlie” problem? Well, not unless you consider the top U.S. military brass girlie men. (We Have Met the Enemy and He is PowerPoint.)

I pretty much loathe PowerPoint. Some members of the US Military even view it as ‘an internal threat.’ Marine Corps General James N. Mattis says, ‘PowerPoint makes us stupid.’ (The bowl of worms above is from a briefing about Afghanistan.)

While PP can be useful – as a tool - all too often it’s an all-purpose hammer to bludgeon the audience (and presenter) into dazed submission. A passionate entrepreneur who could sell water to a drowning man can be reduced to “uh.” The audience becomes passive readers (if they’ve not checked out completely) – and some people’s reading comprehension ain’t all that great to begin with…throw in a few terms they don’t recognize and you’ve lost them.

Also, when ALL you do is prepare slides, what are you NOT doing? I quit one big-timus corporate job in part because I was spending so much time preparing charts to convince the banks to give us yet another loan to get out of Chapter 11 yet again. And, yes, I was making sh** up. My job title wasn’t “Queen of PowerPoint” but it sure felt like it (and I was still on the hook to produce results in my real job.)

Last year when a military Web site, Company Command, asked an Army platoon leader in Iraq, Lt. Sam Nuxoll, how he spent most of his time, he responded, “Making PowerPoint slides.” When pressed, he said he was serious.

“I have to make a storyboard complete with digital pictures, diagrams and text summaries on just about anything that happens,” Lieutenant Nuxoll told the Web site. “Conduct a key leader engagement? Make a storyboard. Award a microgrant? Make a storyboard.”

Hmmm….maybe they should change the name to PowerLESSPoint…

Tiffany is probably a lovely, hard-working person. All I know about her is she’s a hair loss specialist with a completely clueless PR agent, who spammed me today.

Dear Ms. Schmidt,

Hair loss is scary, but the myths surrounding it can be even worse:

–Avoid wearing hats

–Washing your hair too often will make it fall out

–You will lose your hair when you’re old

–There is NO cure

…As a guest on your program, Ms. _____________ can extol expert advice on taking care of hair and preventing hair loss. Her series of unique facts and advice will be sure to make your listeners scratch their heads!

I don’t have listeners. I’m not losing my hair. However, I am scratching my head (once again) over how totally clueless PR firms can be. Since I guest blog at Lip-Sticking (marketing by and for women), some assume I want their spam on everything from plus-size clothing to dating services to hair loss…after all, those are “women’s issues” aren’t they? (They also never bother to check out this blog….hair loss??? Seriously?)

Another example of a lazy marketer totally misunderstanding the social Web and “marketing to women.” (Supposedly the firm has been in biz since 1989…guess they’ve not had an original thought since then.)

I wish Tiffany the best of luck in her publicity campaign – and in finding a professional, savvy PR person.

So, regardless of your biz – hair loss or high tech – before you hire a firm to help with emarketing or social media, find out what they do and HOW they do it. If they’re simply slapping outdated interruption marketing into a new form (“We’ll send to thousands”), keep looking. (Also don’t be dazzled by a big-name client list. That Porsche account could have been a 1985 local newspaper ad for his brother-in-law, the dealer.)

Ah, spring!  I know it’s arrived as – once again – the sound of chainsaws reverberate through the neighborhood.   We’ve got yet another season of trees, lopped and topped within (likely) an inch of their lives (if they manage to survive the shock at all).

Last year, my next door neighbor whacked almost 1/2 of an old, old tree – ALL the canopy gone.  I thought they were planning to take the tree down completely, it was so hacked, but no…they left it, to try to struggle back to life with long, spindly limbs (and me having to look at the sad, ugly thing every day.)

In many cases this savage hacking is done by hired “professionals.”  But, hey! Wait a minute – doesn’t “everyone” knows you shouldn’t top trees, just as “everyone” knows you shouldn’t remove more than 1/3 of the limbs at any one time?

Obviously not.  And, even if they do, true professional tree pruning takes time.  Why spend it, when you can charge, lop, and go (and your customer doesn’t know any better?)

All my peeved way of noting – once again – that: a self-anointed pro isn’t always qualified; and b. “Everyone” doesn’t always know.

I leave it to you to make any comments about marketing, hacks and hacking…;-)

As I noted in Real People. Fake Signs – the healthcare IT industry has glommed onto “meaningful use” with a vengeance.  Never mind that:  1. once you’ve heard the term for the 400th time, it loses any meaning. 2. Everyone else is saying the same thing.  Rather like that wonderful (ack, ack) term, “innovative solutions.” And, of course, everyone is also a “leader”…;-)

Same goes for “cloud” and “source” The hot, buzzy-buzz for “cloud computing” and “open source”  means a thundering herd has stampeded to “brand” themselves with one or both terms in their company names.  And, so?  Nothing wrong with either word…but a snazzy name never sold a single product.

Spend less time on the name, more time on product development and your customers will thank (and buy from) you.

…and silly, non-descriptive names like Google?  Nah, that’ll never work.

I just got back from a ginormous trade show, HIMSS 10 (Healthcare Information and Management Systems Society). Overall, the event was well done and extremely well organized, with a number of education tracks that were truly educational (as opposed to ill-disguised vendor sales pitches so common in trade events.)

I was also very impressed by the presentation by Aneesh Chopra, the first federal-level CTO.   He exudes a combination of enthusiasm and competency, keeping buzz words to a minimum. I actually got excited about things that the government is doing on the Web. (Yes, the federal government.)

The challenge, as he noted, is the difference between “There’s an app for that” (the 24/7  flattened, blazin’ speed  world today) and “there’s a form for that.” (the traditional government way.)   I was even more impressed that after he spoke, he turned the meeting into a town hall gathering and took questions for another hour or so, welcoming the good, bad and ugly input.

He was real…as were many of the folks I talked to over three days.  However, most of the the marketing collateral and booth signage was – well – fake.  Lots of “innovative technology solutions for premier customer service” lines.  And, the term “meaningful use” lost all meaning after I’d seen it for about the 400th time. (do you really care?)

One BIG blurb by a BIG company took three paragraphs to get to what they actually did (and even that was a generic description.)  I’d walk up to a booth, read all the signs, look at the printed materials…and then ask a booth worker, “Yes, but WHAT do you do?”  Sometimes it took  more than one follow-up question to get a glimmer. (Some people had definitely drank the marketing kool-aid.)

Trade shows: Where old corporate marketing speak never dies…it just gets LOUDER…;-)